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Most women want their baby to have a natural birth. This wish then sometimes becomes a self-made trap if the cervix does not open. Out of concern for the well-being of their baby, pregnant women endure labor pains without medication. Then every contraction promotes cramping and letting go is hardly possible. Usually a PDA is then offered.
I'm not a friend of a PDA. (* That does not mean that I demonize it or completely reject it. But if you understand the reason for not opening it, it is no longer necessary.) Because it is usually the initiation of further interventions, which the woman will definitely do before giving birth would have refused.
It is therefore important to take a closer look at the background to the cervix that remains closed.
As always, they are here too Reasons very individual in their subtleties. But I would like to see the bigger picture a bit.
Because we know that the examination after the progress of the opening of the cervix can be a martyrdom for women. She feels unable to give birth to a child if the centimeter is unchanged. Feelings of guilt, anger, disappointment, shame, inadequacy are not good guides for natural birth.
Often the birth companion helps very simple questions further, to give the woman who is twitching her opening impulses during the process of letting go.
Are you ready to let go of your child now? Do you feel ready for this task and its responsibility? What could be the reason that you cannot let go of your whole personality yet? (The mind is usually ready, after all, the pregnancy was also long. But the psyche does not have to pull in the same direction. It may be busy with completely different things)
How do you see your partnership in the transition to parenthood?
Feel what is on your mind right now? What are the main ideas?
Perhaps you are now thinking: These are far too difficult questions, they take up so much time. How should something like that help. As a midwife, I have no time for such intensive questions.
In most cases, the mothers come to our practice AFTER they have gone through a disappointing delivery. And it is not infrequently the cervix that does not open that was at the beginning of the undesirable course of labor.
And while we then wander through the time of birth in an inner journey and pause at every emotional point to see what the topic of these stressful feelings is, it is these small but immensely important questions that suddenly bring calm to the system. This rest is so important during childbirth so that the pregnant woman can relax and gain strength between contractions.
Sentences that we then encounter are e.g. B: I can't protect my baby out there, like in my stomach. I am afraid of responsibility. I'm afraid I can't love it enough. I am concerned that our partnership is not up to this new challenge. I am afraid of not being a good mother.
Pregnant women who had to wait a long time to get pregnant and who may have had premature labor or needed a cerclage, have focused on maintaining the pregnancy throughout the pregnancy. You have unconsciously "closed down" below. Now the whole system should switch to opening and letting go. This makes the great worry from pregnancy about losing the child reappear in all its overwhelming energy.
Even own birth experiences, when a woman had a baby in the birth canal, which were traumatic, leave the cervix closed out of unconscious worry, because the mother-to-be does not want to expose her child to this terrible experience.
Of course, there is no questionnaire for a birth companion in this situation. It is much more important to be mindful of what is psychologically preoccupying the pregnant woman. An empathic accompaniment will sense what is going on in the kreißenden. D.addressing one's own observation often causes dams to break.
Oh god, let her relax and not burst into tears!
Yes, exactly, but the unconscious withholding of worries, fears, apprehensions - often not admitting to oneself - lead to a contraction of all muscles. The cervix is also a muscle. Holding back stands against pushing down outside!
At the moment when the darkest fear is allowed to be expressed and a sensitive counterpart is ready to listen without talking away, a miraculous development occurs. Opening up to one's own fears also creates an opening in other places.
It helps a lot when the expectant mother shares her fears with her baby: I'm so worried that I won't be able to protect you when you're outside. But I promise that I will always be there for you when you experience suffering that I could not prevent.
The whole pregnancy I was so worried about losing you that I don't want to let go of you again. But now that I know that, I'm so happy to be able to hug you right away.
Perhaps you now have a little idea how you, as a pregnant woman or as a birth companion, can share the story of this birth with the cervix and can see his signals as very loving guidance through the contractions.
It is not a failure if the cervix does not open. We just can't fail to ask what he has to say. To tell his story he has to open up;)
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